The Power of Cut-and-Paste

Living life without a vision is like building a house without a blueprint or a floor plan. It's like getting up one morning and saying, "I'm gonna build myself a great house!", then rushing off to pick up some bricks, wood, nails, and stones, then beginning to work on a structure that has no plan and (worse) no foundation. Sounds funny, doesn't it?

But it happens. Everyday. To millions of people around the world who wake up each morning, then rush off to work with nary a sense of where they are REALLY headed. YES, they go off to work, and try to beat their deadlines, which will put them on their boss' good side, WHICH may someday catapult them to the holy chamber of "high cubicles" (or even "rooms with a window"). But then… what next? What's going to happen after reaching Room with a Window 1? Will it be Larger Room with a Window? Or Million-Peso Bank Account? Or Large House with American SUV? There's nothing wrong with those things, but let me ask you…

WHAT ARE YOU WORKING FOR?

Beyond the position, the perks, the money, the house, and the cars, WHY ARE YOU REALLY GETTING UP EACH DAY? Is it to be a damn good CEO so that you can change the face of Philippine economy? Or is it to be the most prolific writer of your generation so that you can rekindle our passion for the arts and the written word? There's gotta be SOMETHING in you that fires you up! What is it? (Please, please, PLEASE don't say it's money for money's sake! If it were that, at least donate some to charity! Hehehe…)

Recognizing a dream, or a vision of ourselves, is not easy. It takes a long time of soul-searching and experimentation before feeling the perfect fit. Kinda like dating, actually. You have to meet lots of bad ones before you see The One. And, sometimes, you don't even know that s/he's The One until it just hits you. Hard. And when it does, you just feel your defenses shatter, your barriers break, and all sense of superiority dissipates.

Recognizing your dream makes you get a grip on reality, and shows you that your dream is LIGHT YEARS away from where you are now. It humbles you, makes you cry sometimes, but it gives you a renewed sense of purpose. Life suddenly becomes more significant.

I met my dream again through the power of cut-and-paste. My business mentors told me to think hard about why I was doing this. Why did I want to get into business and try to make some money? Certainly not for money's sake! They encouraged me to excavate the dreams that lay buried within me, and extract that one thing that will keep me going when the road gets all bumpy and slushy and pothole-y.

So I did. I unearthed the magazine clippings and pictures that I had kept all these years, then tore off more magazine pages (much to my brother's dismay), and cut and clipped until my fingers hurt from being stuck within the scissor-hole for hours on end. I unearthed a four-year-old scrapbook that had lain untouched, and then slowly, almost religiously, I began building my dreambook. The manuscript of my life.

I witnessed images of an exciting future unfolding before my very eyes. Images which, until now, had only been in my head. Okay, so they were magazine cutouts, but they could be real someday. At least the pictures will help me recognize my future life once I come into contact with it!

I saw the house in Provence which I (artfully) clipped from Architectural Digest (I know, I know! My mom will kill me if she found out where the picture came from!). The house which will someday be, or at least look like, mine… I saw the fine glassware and china that I will someday use to entertain my friends… The BMW that I will get to drive (as soon as I learn how)… The Tiffany & Co. diamond-and-platinum engagement ring that I someday hope to wear (if nobody gives it to me, I'll buy it myself!).

Yes, these are all material things, but as I went on, the things became just mere symbols of the kind of life I wanted to live. I wanted to travel, I wanted to experience as much of the world as I possibly could… and at the end of the day, I wanted to return to my little nook at home, and WRITE. Write until my fingers hurt and my eyes watered. Write about the world and its people, and bring the magic of a larger life back home to the Philippines. About what WE can do, and what WE can reach. About the possibilities.

All these from cut-and-paste.

Amazing, isn't it?

You should try it and see how liberating it can be to see your true self emerge… from formerly ordinary pictures within Cosmo, or Life, or Gadgets. Never, ever underestimate the power of cut-and-paste. It could be your key to a larger, better life.

(Written: A Spoonful of Sugar, 30 June 2003)

Let’s Get Real

One criticism that I'm expecting from people is: that I'm idealistic, unrealistic, and naive. I've gotten that so many times in my young life that it's something I almost always expect people to say about me (though, thankfully, none of you have said that to my face!). It's fine, really, because I do tend to think differently. I guess I just choose to see the world for what it CAN BE instead of for what it is. But, anyway, that's not the point of this piece; the point is that I'm dedicating this to people who need me to speak to them a little more realistically.

So, let's get real: not everyone can afford to quit their jobs in pursuit of a passion. For most, if not all, of us physical needs take precedence over psycho-socio-spiritual ones. We all need to eat, sleep in a safe home, take a bath, wear clothes, and pay bills (some pay larger bills than others though!). Even if we REALLY wanted to sing, dance, cook, paint, write, act, or whatever else it is that we want to do, we need regular jobs that give us our 15-30. And I totally understand. For even now, as I talk of pursuing my dreams, I worry about how to pay for my credit card, insurance, and retirement fund payments. And, oh yes, my precious gym membership… But I dread the thought of having to ask my parents for money. I want to be financially independent.

However, all these needs shouldn't bar us from doing what we REALLY want to do, even if we don't get into full-time careers doing them. Yes, there is always the excuse of "not enough time" or "not enough money", but really, would you rather face each day regretting what you didn't do, or at least wake up knowing that you have a little something to look forward to today?

All of us have 24 hours in a day, seven days in a week. We all need to eat, sleep, bathe, work, stufy, travel, and what-not. But what if the key to living a piece of your dream is doing things a little differently? Wouldn't you?

This reminds me of my pre-gym days, when I was constantly wishing that I had enough money to get me a Gold's Gym VIP membership (you know, the one that cost Php85K, discounted?). I was daydreaming, praying to God that I come across some big-time "racket", and even trying to convince my dad to loan me the money. When all these didn't work, I decided to get up and get real. I wanted to work out, I wanted to lose weight, but I didn't have any money. So I surveyed my stuff at home: a stepper that helped me lose my first 15 lbs. back in 1995, an ab-roller that helped me lose some post-graduation flab, a pair of 4-lb. weights, a Playstation that could double as a VCD player, and… the stairs.

So I bought tae-bo and yoga VCDs, cleaned my equipment, and got to work. For several months, my workout routine consisted of: waking up at 4 a.m. to walk up and down the stairs, then work out with the tae-bo VCD, and do some light weights. At night, before going to sleep, I'd work out with my yoga VCD. It was highly effective, and very inexpensive. (But now I can afford a gym membership, and although it's not Gold's Gym, it's my most precious investment.)

Okay, okay… Most of you would probably dread having to wake up at 4 a.m. just to do what they want, but all I'm saying here is that it's possible; we CAN do what we want to do–and it probably doesn't require anything life-changing. One inspiring speaker I recently listened to said, "Visit your passion." Now let me ask you, when was the last time you opened your little box of treasures and visited yours?

For the realists: Life is a series of trade-offs; we've got to learn to trade some to earn some. (I think that's about as real as I can get.)

So now I'm trading in some time and some money for a chance to fulfill my dreams. Maybe all YOU have to do is wake up an hour earlier, park your car a block farther, or spend a couple hundred bucks on that pottery or photography lessons that you've always wanted to take. In that sense, you're quite lucky because you don't need to jump ship to get where you want to go.

The question NOW is: are you willing to do things a little differently to make some dreams come true?

(Written: A Spoonful of Sugar, 12 June 2003)

Chasing Dreams

The other day I wrote about Losing Safety Nets, and I'd like to apologize for reviving this column, for the nth time, on a negative note. I'd like to make up for it and reclaim the throne to my exuberance by telling you why I decided to resign in the first place.

It has always been my dream to empower and inspire other people through my writing. When I began A Spoonful of Sugar almost four years ago, people's responses to my articles told me that the world needed a friendly "voice" to egg them on. Often in our lives the words that we hear debilitate instead of motivate us. From our parents, teachers, or bosses we've heard about the things that we couldn't do ("don't be an artist; you'll starve") instead of seeing the possibilities that we can bring to life ("your life can bring hope and inspiration to young kids"). So I made it my personal mission to bring some sunshine into people's lives through my perky prose. And you may have noticed that the column hasn't been out regularly; it's because it's really been just a hobby, an outlet to vent my frustrations and psych myself up for better days.

In recent months, however, this little voice inside of me began telling me how resentful she is that I've "abandoned" my writing. I had become far too busy to write anything meaningful, and whenever I did try to write nothing would come out. I was stressed, frustrated, and in pain. Nothing inspired me anymore, and it began to show even in my work. Those were the first signs. Then, the little voice grew louder and more insistent that I get back to my craft. Again, I ignored it. THEN came the sleepless nights, the trying-to-write-but-nothing-comes-out nights, the trying-to-make-sense-of-things moments, UNTIL a voice just told me: "LEAP. TAKE THAT LEAP OF FAITH NOW."

Then I felt at peace. And everything made sense once more. The little voice inside me was happy, and I felt much lighter and alive. True, I've hardly even begun my journey, so maybe this peace will be short-lived, but it doesn't really bother me. Know why? I know that the road ahead will be tough–tougher than any road I've taken, any challenge I've overcome, any heartbreak I've experienced. BUT I'M TAKING A CHANCE ON MY DREAMS and, whatever happens–broke or not–I know I'll end up a winner.

So, what keeps YOU awake at night and keeps you going in the morning?

(Written: A Spoonful of Sugar, 6 June 2003)

Welcome to my Blogspace.

Those who know me well know that I am an irrepressible blogger. In 1999, I started writing A Spoonful of Sugar, which was then an email newsletter sent out to my friends and colleagues at Globe Telecom. It covered anything and everything in my rose-colored world that I felt was worth writing about: idealistic dreams, far-reaching goals, views about politics and society, takes on love and romance, and everything else in between. As the small mailing list quickly expanded, a close friend of mine (and an idol and mentor, really), Palanca Award-winner Christian Vallez, encouraged me to post my thoughts in a blog. So I did.

Four years later, in 2003, when I embarked on a freelance writing career and established myself as a "real writer," Spoonful also took off–although not in a big, commercial way. I started getting emails and comments from people I didn't know. People I had almost forgotten about (classmates and acquaintances from high school and college) would write me, saying how my posts made them realize this, or changed their lives in that way. I was humbled and emboldened at the same time. I knew I had something good to say, and that I should keep saying it. Around that time, too, I was reunited with an old friend–who later on became the Love of My Life and who encouraged me to take flight. Spoonful became an open diary of sorts, a story of our friendship, love, romance, and–as usual–everything else in between.

Now, it's 2007, and it once again has been four years since the time I pursued my passions as a writer, and I'm realizing that my life seems to be moving in four-year cycles. I now maintain (or at least try to) four blogs: A Spoonful of Sugar; Via Filipina, about my search for authenticity as a young woman; Soul Work, about my spiritual journey and the tools that I use along the way; and Niña's Notebook, my online portfolio.

So this blog will be a compendium of my favorite entries, the "best of" everything that I have contributed so far to the blogosphere–a mishmash of spoonfuls of soul work and views of a Filipina trying to make her way around the world. 

I hope you'll enjoy reading (or re-reading) the entries here, and I do hope to hear from you sometime.

~ NT, 29092007