The Other Side of the Coin

Each life is like a coin, with two sides. There’s a side that is introspective, inward-looking, concerned about who and where we are, and who and where we want to be. It’s the side that throws us these existential questions once in a while, and forces us to step back from the world. It asks, “Who am I really? What is my life’s purpose? Why am I here?”

Then there’s another side that is outward-looking, the social side of each human being. It’s the side that seeks acceptance, attention, love…the side that seeks growth in the context of others. This is where altruism, compassion, and empathy lie; it’s the side which forces us to go out and make our mark in the world and asks, “How can I make a difference in other people’s lives?”

I’m talking about this now not because I want to launch into a philosophical discussion about the Self and the Other, but because, right after sending out the latest Spoonful, a friend threw me this question: What about a cause? Are you willing to die for a cause?

I realized then that I had spent some time talking about personal dreams and visions, but had forgotten the other side, the social side, of each human life. We exist not only to fulfill our personal goals, but to do so in the context of a larger community. We are here to accomplish a life mission, but this inevitably involves other people, be it your family, your community, or the rest of the world.

We need dreams to fuel our existence, to live a successful life; but we need a cause to live a meaningful, a significant, life.

These causes don’t need to be as great as saving the rainforests, or as noble as fighting for indigenous peoples’ rights to ancestral lands. It can be as basic as ensuring that our communities are safe and secure, or encouraging our neighbors to segregate our waste. What’s important is for us to look beyond ourselves, and ask what we can do for the world. How can we align our personal dreams with a cause that will benefit more people outside ourselves?

Tricky question, huh? (We don’t even know what we really want, how can we know what we can do for the world?!)

But it’s a question worth asking. So… think about it. You may be surprised with how easy it can be to live a successful and significant life.

Oh, and do I have a cause? Am I willing to die for it? Stay tuned and find out.

(Written: A Spoonful of Sugar, 10 July 2003)