Chasing Dreams

The other day I wrote about Losing Safety Nets, and I'd like to apologize for reviving this column, for the nth time, on a negative note. I'd like to make up for it and reclaim the throne to my exuberance by telling you why I decided to resign in the first place.

It has always been my dream to empower and inspire other people through my writing. When I began A Spoonful of Sugar almost four years ago, people's responses to my articles told me that the world needed a friendly "voice" to egg them on. Often in our lives the words that we hear debilitate instead of motivate us. From our parents, teachers, or bosses we've heard about the things that we couldn't do ("don't be an artist; you'll starve") instead of seeing the possibilities that we can bring to life ("your life can bring hope and inspiration to young kids"). So I made it my personal mission to bring some sunshine into people's lives through my perky prose. And you may have noticed that the column hasn't been out regularly; it's because it's really been just a hobby, an outlet to vent my frustrations and psych myself up for better days.

In recent months, however, this little voice inside of me began telling me how resentful she is that I've "abandoned" my writing. I had become far too busy to write anything meaningful, and whenever I did try to write nothing would come out. I was stressed, frustrated, and in pain. Nothing inspired me anymore, and it began to show even in my work. Those were the first signs. Then, the little voice grew louder and more insistent that I get back to my craft. Again, I ignored it. THEN came the sleepless nights, the trying-to-write-but-nothing-comes-out nights, the trying-to-make-sense-of-things moments, UNTIL a voice just told me: "LEAP. TAKE THAT LEAP OF FAITH NOW."

Then I felt at peace. And everything made sense once more. The little voice inside me was happy, and I felt much lighter and alive. True, I've hardly even begun my journey, so maybe this peace will be short-lived, but it doesn't really bother me. Know why? I know that the road ahead will be tough–tougher than any road I've taken, any challenge I've overcome, any heartbreak I've experienced. BUT I'M TAKING A CHANCE ON MY DREAMS and, whatever happens–broke or not–I know I'll end up a winner.

So, what keeps YOU awake at night and keeps you going in the morning?

(Written: A Spoonful of Sugar, 6 June 2003)